The Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard

What can I say about The Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard? Besides the hard to say title, there is yelling. So much yelling. There are guns, f-bombs, and real bombs, and the same character Ryan Reynolds plays in every movie. He’s just so witty.

It goes without saying that my local theater doesn’t have a huge selection this week. I settle in for this sequel to the Hitman’s Bodyguard with glimmer of hope that I am at least about to be entertained for a couple hours.

We are back with Michael Bryce (Ryan Reynolds), who decides to take a sabbatical from his career as a bodyguard. He is unwillingly whisked back into this elite world with hitman Darius Kincade (Samuel L. Jackson), and his now wife and notorious con artist, Sonia (Salma Hayek). And the yelling begins.

Everything moves so fast, and I keep shaking my head through the artificial and forced action scenes. They are riddled with green screen and vulgarities and those witty comments you’d expect. The trio bounces around what feels like every country in Europe – and for what? Oh saving the continent. Or Greece- or something.

Antonia Banderas plays a Greek billionaire who appears to be on some mission to destroy the world. The real (and genuinely pleasant) surprise was when we discover Michael Bryce (Morgan Freeman) at a villa in Tuscany. That’s a spoiler, sorry. And yes, I take a moment to imagine myself sitting outside a vineyard with a meat and cheese plate while Samuel Jackson and Morgan Freeman banter.

It isn’t an all-out turning point for me, but I find myself less critical and more relaxed into the space of what I think this movie was trying to be. Simply put, it’s just an action comedy with a bunch of foul-mouthed people shooting each other and blowing things up. I laughed a few times. I’m sure they did too. We shouldn’t take everything so seriously. However, it would be a mistake for me to tell you to go see this ridiculous movie.

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